Can I Talk to You ?Part 1
First what is a good man according to God’s standards? It is one that will leave an inheritance to his children’s children. A good man from a good woman’s standpoint is one that thinks generationally and has already started making preparations not just for the future but after he is gone. His mind is on more than just himself, but he is looking at the needs of others.
So many times men you place too many hardships on yourselves when it’s not that hard. A really good woman is not looking at the world’s standards as to what a good man is, neither is she considering from her own thoughts what she perceives is a good man. Now don’t get me wrong we may develop a list of what we want in a husband, but in the ultimate end one thing is very clear we want who God desires for us. (Prov. 3:5, 6 Ps 37:4)
A lot of you good men think we as good women are hung upon material things, a nice body and walking on lots’ of money. It’s really nothing wrong with wanting or obtaining those things but its’ not the foundation of what we look for in a good man. It goes beyond the surface and deeper than those things that are here today and gone tomorrow. For instance can you even hold an intelligent conversation? Communication is very important to us and if you have a hard time talking or expressing yourself then you will have a hard time in establishing who you really are in life.
What are you saying Ms. Sondra? Well let’s take it back to the beginning of the Word in Genesis. The earth was dark and without form or void. Nothing happened until God spoke and things begin to happen. The earth was developed because God spoke it into existence. Later on in the New Testament Jesus became the Word of God and lived and walked among us. Jesus didn’t do anything apart from the Word of God. Even when Eve was presented before Adam he identified her and spoke into her and said ‘This is now bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh, she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of man.”(Gen.2:23) NKJV
Now let’s take a closer look into this. It’s no coincidence that this passage is found in Genesis 2 and the rib from Adam to make Eve is found in verse 22. The number 2 in this context is pertaining to union, agreement. Adam came in agreement with God in whom he designed for him. She was already a part of him and Adam recognized that. Therefore Adam was able to claim her and name her and then God gave them their instructions, blessed them and they were able to walk together in divine agreement.
What matters to us most is that you come in agreement with God pertaining to you. You want to know what really pleases a good woman your obedience and commitment to God first. Your prayer life and worship is what will make our eye brows raise. Your willingness to submit to those in authority over you, that is a sure sign to let us know what kind of leader you really are and what kind of power you really possess. Obedience plus submission equals ultimate power. Having a whole lot of money, expensive material things or having your name on the front liners is great but again that is not the driving force. What good is it to gain the whole world and yet lose your soul?
Men it is important that you have the ability to speak life into us. That you cover us in prayer and you support us in our endeavors as we support you in what you do. Men you know when you have chosen the right one for you because she is equipped with everything you need to continue to be successful. Remember Adam was already doing very well before Eve was even presented to him. So ladies that is a sign right there to wait on God’s divine timing before trying to take matters into your own hands because you can’t wait.
We as women must realize it is not our job to step in to make a man realize he is a man. That is God’s job. So many countless times I have seen women hearts broken because she fell in love with someone who was a whole lot of potential and no action. The woman ended up carrying the whole relationship because you became his mother and not his mate. Women learn to stay out of the way and let God do what he does. God named Adam, and gave him responsibilities, not Eve. In the meantime if you are the right one he will come after you. Remember Eve was presented before Adam but Adam found her by choosing her, claiming her as his and then gave her his last name Womb (man).
Now ladies, before Eve was presented before Adam she spent quality time with God. Get to know God for yourself first. Some of us have not taken the time to heal from past relationships or family hurts and we bring all of that into something new. Take that quality time with God first (Ps 37:4) you will know who you were designed for because it will be more of a spiritual connection than something created in the flesh.
Now ladies when God does present you before him wait until he identifies you. Remember Adam and Eve did not walk in agreement until Adam identified her and claimed her as his. It is not our job or assignment to get ahead of God’s divine timing. It is also important men and women we do not manipulate someone into being with us. That is soul-ish and is a form of witchcraft. Witching someone’s’ will over to your will or what you want even if it doesn’t line up with God’s perfect will. Most times ladies we must be honest we know when it is not the right one. I have a divorce to prove it, just being transparent. Men you know when you are not with the right one but yet you tend to want to go with the flow as to not hurt their feelings or you see no way out. So what do you have two people walking in agreement to be disobedient and miserable? Just stop it. If you are already married then you will have to continue to go before God and allow Him to work it out between the two of you.
God desires for us to build healthy prosperous relationships. It is not His will for us to walk in misery and neglect. Men you are praying for a good woman, a wife, then make sure you want who God desires for you. If you are still stuck on self and what you want then you might as well stop praying because you won’t be able to recognize her when God brings her before you or if you do your mind is already made up to choose Ishmael(flesh,soulish, man- made) instead of Isaac (spirit, promise God ordained)
One thing I’ve learned as I continue to draw closer to God is my will doesn’t matter if I want the best from Him. God will never take away our power to choose but a choice will be made. The question is will you make the right one according to what God says and wants for you or are you going to choose based on the moment in what you see with your natural eye.
Men you will know you have made the right choice because 1. God is pleased with you 2. The woman will help enhance you and add to your life, not subtract or take away. Remember God created woman as a help mate so her desires are to make sure she can help you as much as possible. She loves to see you shine and look good in what God has called you to do. She wants the best for you and she knows how to walk in the spirit and war in the spirit on your behalf. After all she was made from you. She will know exactly how to speak into your spirit and life because her ears are fine tuned to God’s voice. Notice there are no material things listed here.
Women just do what God continues to tell us to do and God will make sure he finds us. Trust me when you are the one he will make every effort he can to get your attention, which normally means drawing closer to Christ because he sees that you are no ordinary woman. He sees the God in you and there may be some things he’s going to God about first because he knows he has to step to you correctly. As my brother in Christ Do’Quoi “The Duke” Green relationship advisor says, “Women there is no need to lower your standards to get a man”. If you are doing that you are cheating yourself from receiving the best God has for you.
All in all, the right person, the right relationship that God has ordained will enhance your relationship with God first, with each other second and then with others. The right relationships will help build with you to help establish a legacy and leave an inheritance.
Lysondra J Hardy
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